Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: 10 Reasons For Being:

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10 Reasons For Being:

FrenchFinnish AmericanEnglish
ItalianSpanish GermanIndian/Pakistani
WelshIrishCanadianAustralian

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
3. You get to eat tasty French cuisine,... like snails and frog's legs
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. You don't need to speak any other language
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, (just **** in the street)
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FINNISH :
1. You can speak lots of different languages (when drunk.)
2. You can smile and be happy and express yourself (when drunk)
3. The national sport of Grill Queue bare-fist fighting (when drunk)
4. In a crisis you can go for your lunch and leave it till later.
5. Your able to keep drinking even if comatose.
6. You can sell and drink aircraft fuel (and label it as Finlandia Vodka.)
7. The only nation where you can get served in a bar even if you're too drunk to stand up beside it.
8. You can get extremely angry, or ecstatically happy without the use of any facial expressions or change in tone of voice whatsoever.
9. You get to eat Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's cousins (you ********,....)
10. For recreation, you can enjoy sitting in a room full of burning steam, whilst hitting oneself with tree branches


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell the word "colour" wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. When you're not. At all.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Won the One World Cup,.....once, I think,....and remind everyone else about it
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in all major sporting events
5. Union Jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh. Or Scottish

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Country run by the Mob

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1. Glorious history of bringing culture to South American tribes
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get invaded by drunken Brits, Finns, Germans, Danes, Swedes every summer.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else in Europe makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
9. Oranges
10.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. In-built sense of humour

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN /PAKISTANI:
-1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potatoe
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
1. You've got to be joking, right?!?!?!?
2. If you can't get a date, there's always plenty of sheep
3. Ermm,...

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1. Guinness
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4. Pubs never close
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend to have sex without a condom.
6. No one can ever remember the night before
7. Guiness
8. Stew
9. More Guiness
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? (ermmm,....?)
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge fuckoff shotguns and cover your house in their skins
9. Own-an-eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
11. Canadian beer doesn't taste like piss

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
1. Knowing your great-grand-dad was a murdering ******* that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager
3. Barbeques
4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondai Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Castlemaine XXXX
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach, whilst having a barbecue and watching Home & Away.

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