Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: Past Darwin Nominees

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Past Darwin Nominees

Past Darwin Nominees

(#1) Los Angeles, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother, decided to remove a bees nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a "pineapple." A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite.
They ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani.
Deciding Mr. Saduki needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital. While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of suffocation enroute to the hospital.


(#2) A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train and was dragged in his car more than a kilometer before being slammed into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he walked for help.
The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his companion, 64, were driving along the Newell Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New South Wales, on Wednesday night, police said.
Their car crashed into the side of a fully laden, 600 meter long train at a level crossing. (I guess that would be harder to miss than the side of a barn!) The vehicle became wedged between the second to last and last carriages and was dragged sideways beside the track as the train continued towards Moree, a police spokeswoman said. Moments before they reached the precipice, the car was struck by a pylon, dislodged from the train and spun several times. When it finally came to a rest, the pair managed to free themselves from the wreck (l wonder if it was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set off along the railway line for help. But he slipped on the bridge and fell to his death, the spokeswoman said. The woman was eventually able to raise the alarm and was recovering in Moree hospital with chest injuries.

(#3) Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards.
According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a semi-automatic pistol (instead of the more traditional revolver) to ken's head and fired.

(#4) Phillipsberg, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer at a local establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat it," the dancer identified as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."

(#5) In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel Kota, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.

Past Darwin Award Honorable Mentions (i.e. Non-fatalities)

Gulf Breeze, Florida, three unidentified teenage males were using a home video camera to film an action/adventure "movie" one of the boys had written. In a scene that called for one character to be ignited by fire, the "special effects coordinator," age 15, prepared the "stunt" youth by dousing lighter fluid onto his clothes. The intentional fire, which proved unexpectedly difficult to extinguish, left the young man with third degree burns on his left arm, torso, and both legs. It was all captured on film.

In Bradford, PA, J. Cruwe, 28, caught a small snake in his yard. As a joke he placed the snake in a container which he handed to his wife. She opened the container and, startled to see the snake, dropped it. The excited and, as it turns out, poisonous, snake immediately bit Mr. Cruwe on the shin. Mr. Cruwe survived the wound and recovered after a short visit to the local emergency room.

In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite the estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a three foot diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels deck. Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels empties the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tires to ignite it again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had came, though at a much greater rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet though the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "Followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd like to do it again if l was sure l wouldn't get hurt."

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