Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: COLLEGE CURRICULUM FOR MEN AND WOMEN

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COLLEGE CURRICULUM FOR MEN AND WOMEN

For Men, a two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Fall:
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas


Winter:
MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
MEN 113 Get a Life, Learn to Cook


Spring:
MEN 120 How NOT To Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers


SECOND YEAR

Fall:
SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down


Winter:
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Russel Wong, Naked


Spring: MEN 220 Omitting @#%^^&*! From Your Vocabulary
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 30 Minutes of Begging is Not Considered Foreplay



For Women, A two year degree has been developed to accompany the one outlined above. In the same amount of time it takes to become a real man, you too can learn how to be bearable, in spite of your natural instincts.Look at the degree requirements below.

FIRST YEAR

Fall
Women 101 - Overcoming the Falacious Assumption that You're Never Wrong
Women 102 - How NOT to Act Like An Asshole When You're Right: Avoiding the "I Told You So" Whine
Women 103 - Housework, You Knew It Was Part of the Deal When You Walked In
Women 104 - PMS - No, We DON'T Just Have to Put Up With It: Learning NOT to Indulge Your Bad Moods
Women 105 - How to Wait for Another Person to Finish Speaking Before You Start Talking

Winter
Women 110 - If It's Your Plan To "Change Him", Don't Marry Him. A Conceptual Approach to Marrying For Valid Reasons
Women 111 - Christmas & Birthdays: Avoiding the Power Tool Default Mode
Women 112- Stereotypical Assumptions Concerning Male Behaviors and Motivations: The Fallacy of Women's Magazine Articles and the "Experts" Who Write Them
Women 113 - The Interpersonal Interaction Laboratory: Don"t Ask For "the Truth", When What You Really Want Is Agreement
Women 114 - How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

Spring
Women 120 - Get A Life: Your Girlfriends Don't Have the Answer
Women 121 - Thinking For Yourself: You Don't Really Need An Opinion From Ten Other Know-It-All Women Before Making A Decision
Women 122 - The "Best Friend" Problem: She Doesn't Need to Know Every Detail of Our Relationship, And She DOES NOT Have Input to the Marriage- A Mixed-Gender Seminar Focusing On Privacy Issues and the Betrayal of Trust
Women 123 - Soap Operas: Not A Mirror of Reality
Women 124 -Learning to Understand and Accept That We Aren't Required to Adhere to Decisions Your Mother Makes.

SECOND YEAR

Fall
Sex 101 - You CAN Learn To Stop Using It As A Weapon
Sex 102 - The Role of Sex in Marriage. If We Don't Get It Here, It's a) Grounds For Divorce, b) O.K. To Get It Elsewhere
Sex 103 - How To Participate in the Sexual Act - If It Was Enjoyable Before We Were Married, Why Is It Dirty & "Immature" Now?, A Series of Discussions On the Nature of Honesty in Relationships
Sex 104 - Foreplay: The Two-Way Street with No Stop Signs

Winter
Women 210 - Admonishment and Rebuke: The Death of Love
Women 211 - High Horses: How to Avoid Getting Up On One
Women 212 - Timliness: Stifling Your Contempt For It
Women 213 - Parenting: Nine Months of a Natural, Biologic Process Does Not Qualify You As An Infallible Expert
Women 214 - Feminist Rhetoric: Yes, You're An Equal, Now Give It A Rest

Spring
Women 220 - Eliminating "Can't You Ever Do Anything Right?" From Your Vocabulary
Women 221 - Getting Over the Pain of Knowing That Sometimes, We're Just Not Thinking About You
Women 222 - Saying What You REALLY Mean: The End of Game-Playing
Women 223 -Emotional Blackmail: A Twelve Step Program For Kicking the Habit
Women 224 -Understanding the Male Response to Emotional Imprisonment

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