Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: pickin' on clinton again

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pickin' on clinton again

As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?"


Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird?
-the spread eagle
A reporter asked Clinton one day. " Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. " No, she was on her knees.
Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?
A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.
The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only one of the three who knew that 'harass' was one word.
Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they're all too busy screwing the President.
Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the President.
86% said "Not again."
Clinton's team of advisors have offered the following defense...Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in disposition! He told her to lie in THIS position....
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.
Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.
Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
Q: What's the latest game played in the Whitehouse ?
A: Swallow the Leader
Bill Clinton asks Monica to step into his office to see his clock.
She replies "No, Mr President, I don't think that's a good idea".
Billsays "I'm the God-damn President of the United States and I am telling you to come into my office to look at my clock". Monica's an obedient Intern and obliges. As she walks into the Oval office, she finds Mr President standing there with his pants down and the 'old boy' hanging out.
Monica says "ooh Mr President, that's not a clock".
He says "Honey, as soon as you put 2 hands and a face on it it will be."

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