More Uses for Vasline


More Uses for Vasline

A man dressed in a suit came up to the front porch of a house juggling a clipboard, some papers, and a briefcase. He knocked on the door and it was answered by a middle-aged man, "Mornin' stranger, what can I do for ya?"

"Well sir, I represent Schneller, Barnum, and Holtz. We're paid by private companies to canvas thousands of consumers like yourself for feedback on their products. Today we're soliciting comments on Vaseline petroleum jelly. Would you have time to answer just a couple of questions?"

"I don't see how a couple of questions could hurt, fire away young man," said the homeowner.

Looking down at his clipboard, the survey-taker asks, "Okay... first, you do use Vaseline, correct?"

"Yes sir, for as long as I can remember."

"Great, now what exactly do you use it for?" asked the survey-taker with his pen poised over his clipboard, ready to record the answer.

"Let's see.....we use it for dry skin, chapped lips, and sex."

The well-dressed man stopped writing abruptly. He looked around, leaned forward and in a low voice said, "We pride ourselves in being very thorough sir. I know how you'd use Vaseline for dry skin and chapped lips. But would you mind telling me how you use it for sex?"

"No problem," the homeowner said in a whisper, "we put it on our bedroom doorknob."

The survey-taker had a strange look on his face and took a step backwards before the homeowner continues, "It keeps the kids out."