Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: You're a Torontonian when....

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You're a Torontonian when....

Signs that You Are a Torotonian

  1. You turn your nose up any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd (Scarborough and Missisauga)
  2. A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
  3. You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.
  4. You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.
  5. You take pride in being able to walk through Chinatown in the dead of summer without holding your breath.
  6. You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.
  7. When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"
  8. You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV
  9. You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.
  10. You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.
  11. You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.
  12. You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall
  13. You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma
  14. At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver
  15. You never, never, never swim in the lake
  16. You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there
  17. You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder
  18. You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast
  19. You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"
  20. You speak better Chinese than french
  21. The word "cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularily amusing
  22. Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.
  23. You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for..
  24. You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life
  25. You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion
  26. You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight
  27. For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!
  28. You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.
  29. It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.
  30. You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.
  31. You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one.
  32. You've taken the vomit comit.
  33. You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.
  34. You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia.
  35. You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.
  36. You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe

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