Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: Stephen Wright Bumper Stickers

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Stephen Wright Bumper Stickers

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

  • Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
  • Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
  • I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
  • I intend to live forever - so far, so good
  • I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
  • Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
  • Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
  • Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
  • Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
  • Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion..
  • The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane..
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy..
  • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you..
  • If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they..
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ....
  • 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ....coincidence?
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something..
  • Many people quit looking for work when they find a job..
  • Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire..
  • When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded..
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film..
  • Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
  • If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery..
  • I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone..
  • I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out..
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder..
  • Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark..
  • How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them..
  • Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor..
  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  • Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
  • For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain..
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero..
  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand..
  • I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose..

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