A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spent $5,000 and felt really good about the result. On his way home he stopped at a newstand and bought a paper. Before leaving he said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man said, feeling really happy. After that he went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh, you look about 29."

"I am actually 47!" This made him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asked an old woman the same question. She replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady said, "OK, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned the man said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replied, "I was behind you in McDonalds."