"Married... With Children" Drinking Game


"Married... With Children" Drinking Game

Married With Children Drinking Game


1) Watch "Married... With Children" (Can be seen Saturday nights on the Fox Television Network [first-run episodes], and at various times and days[syndicated episodes])

2) Select a category or two from the above list. Or, alternatively, you could select all categories, but I reckon you'd be drunk before the 1st commercial break

3) Take a drink (1 drink = normal swallow, gulp, swig, etc) of your favourite beverage whenever any of the following events in your category occurs:

Al Bundy

Enters the house - 1 drink

Puts hand down pants - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he puts his left hand down pants
- 3 drinks if he puts both hands down pants

Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink

Sings - 1 drink

- 2 drinks if he sings the theme to "Psycho Dad"

Says "Big 'uns" - 2 *big* drinks

Says "Let's Rock" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he says "Let's Something-Else" eg: Let's bowl, let's cook

Says "Dodge" - 1 drink

Reminisces about his father and cries - 1 drink

Insults Peggy's family - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he insults someone other than her mother (specific name)

Calls Marcy a chicken - 1 drink

Says "Nudie Bar" - 1 drink

Mentions how he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game - 4 drinks (1 for each TD)

Wishes for death - 1 drink

Mentions John Wayne (The Duke) or a John Wayne movie - 1 drink

Sells a shoe - 1 drink

Insults a fat woman - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he insults a fat woman while not in the shoe store

Says "I am not gay!" - 1 drink

Removes shoes - 1 drink

Removes socks - 1 drink

Removes pants - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he does this and expects to get desired sexually

Removes shirt - 1 drink

Is seen wearing football jersey from Polk High - 1 drink

Falls off roof - 1 drink

Beats up anybody - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's one of Kelly's boyfriends

Is picking any part of his body - 1 drink

Says "Steeeeeerike!" - 1 drink

Says "I love you" - 3 drinks
- 5 drinks if he says this to Peggy

Rolls up newspaper and walks to bathroom - 1 drink

Is shown eating - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's something Peggy cooked

In bed with Peggy - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they are sleeping

Says "TV Guide" - 1 drink

Dreams - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's a football dream

Insults the French - 1 drink

Drinks a beer - Finish off your entire beverage - Don't let Al drink alone

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Peggy Bundy

Comes down stairs - 1 drink

Smoking a cigarette - 1 drink

Eats a bon-bon - 1 drink

Any vibrator inference - 2 drinks

Cooks a meal - 3 drinks (must be shown making the meal)

Does housework - 2 drinks

Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink

Is watching Oprah - 1 drink
- 2 drinks for Phil Donahue
- 3 drinks for Geraldo
- 4 drinks for Richard Bey

Sleeping on couch - 1 drink when she wakes up

In bed with Al - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they are sleeping

Says "Wanker" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if she says "Wanker County"
- 3 drinks if she is in Wanker County

Peggy threatens Al with a visit from her relatives - 1 drink

The relatives actually visit - 1 drink for each relative (Note: Excluding "Seven" and Peg's parents)

Talking on phone - 1 drink

Wearing a dress - 2 drinks

Steals from Al (shown or referred to) - 1 drink

Steals from the kids (shown or referred to) - 2 drinks

Buys something - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if the purchase is actually shown

Shown bowling - 1 drink (for every ball thrown)

Sings or lip-syncs - 1 drink

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Kelly Bundy

Shown in a dress - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's the Verminator costume
- 2 drinks if it's her waitressing outfit

Shown in a bathing suit - wipe the drool from your mouth and take 2 drinks

Shown with bimbo friends - 1 drink for every additional bimbo

Shown on TV - 1 drink (only the 1st time in the episode)

Making out with guy on couch - 1 drink

Coming home from a date - 1 drink

Leaving home to go on a date - 1 drink

Uses the wrong word - 1 drink (eg Topeka instead of Eureka)
- 2 drinks if the word used is sexual (eg: "The *prostitution* rests instead of "The prosecution rests")

Alludes to the fact that she is not a real blonde - 1 drink

Shown driving (car or motorcycle) - 1 drink

Gets a modelling job - 1 drink (for 1st time mentioned in episode)

Is called "Pumpkin" by Al - 1 drink

Delivers a dumb line, stuttering and hesitant - 1 drink

Puts her head sideways so it rests on someone's shoulder - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if that someone is Al

Chases Bud up the stairs - 1 drink

Alludes to seducing a teacher - 1 drink

Dances - 2 drinks when she stops

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Bud Bundy

Uses a fake name (eg: Bud Bon Jovi)
(Note: except "GrandMaster B") - 1 drink
Calls himself "GrandMaster B" - 1 drink (1st time in episode)
Called a twisted derivation of "GrandMaster B" eg: Bed-Wetter B) - 2 drinks

Mentions a "rubber woman" - 1 drink

Mentions any other "fake" date (eg: dressing Buck up like a woman) - 2 drinks

Makes a Budweiser reference - 1 drink

On a couch with a girl - 1 drink

Gets lucky (inferred) - 2 drinks

Gets Kelly in trouble with parents - 1 drink

Gets into a fist fight / gets beat up- 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he wins / is winning

Mentions a girl he has a crush on by name - 1 drink

Gets slapped in face by a woman - 1 drink

Chases Kelly up the stairs - 1 drink

Raps - 1 drink

Teaches Kelly some nonsense - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if the nonsense is based on television

Rubs his hands - 1 drink

Screams from being thrown or falling - 1 drink

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Buck/Lucky Bundy

Any spoken line by Buck/Lucky - 1 drink each time Buck/Lucky "speaks" (Except episode where he was played by a guy in a dog suit)

Buck/Lucky eats - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's food meant for Al

Buck/Lucky gets lucky (or alluded to) - 1 drink

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Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy

Mentions her woman's group - 1 drink

Requests / demands sex from husband - 1 drink

Talks about her past (eg: mother / sister stories) - 1 drink

Insults Al's hairline - 1 drink

Insults Al's hygiene - 1 drink

Makes fun of Al's sexual prowess - 1 drink

Says (or thinks so we can hear) something sexual about man other than husband - 1 drink

Tells Jefferson to get a job - 1 drink

Shown in bank - 1 drink

Reference to her short hair - 1 drink

Reference to her small chest - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if she responds to the effect that Al's chest is larger

Bashes men as a group - 1 drink

Amanda Bearse directs the episode - 1 drink
- 2 drinks for short token appearance of Marcy on an episode directed by Amanda Bearse

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Steven Rhoades

Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's to her face

Sings (opera, classical music, etc) - 1 drink

Comments about hairline - 1 drink

Shown with a beard - 1 drink

Appears in an episode post-divorce - 1 drink (1st time shown in episode)

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Jefferson D'Arcy

Reference made to his past (Note: excepting Land Scam) - 1 drink

Reference made to Ted McGinley's past acting career - 1 drink

Comment made about his hair -1 drink

Says "Nudie Bar" - 2 drinks

Shown at a job - 2 drinks

Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's to her face

Gets injured while working on a foolish project with Al - 1 drink

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Other Events

"Whoa, Bundy!" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's "Whoa, Anything-Else" eg: "Whoa, stealing old ladys' pension cheques!")

Members of NOMA'AM shown (wearing NOMA'AM shirts) - 1 drink for each member

A Verducci (Charlie or Vinnie) appears - 1 drink (1st time in the episode)

That Spanish-American newscaster is shown - 1 drink

A toilet is heard flushing - 1 drink

The bum (long haired scruffy looking guy who asks for change) is shown - 1 drink

The name "Habib" is mentioned - 1 drink

The name "Garry" is mentioned - 1 drink

The name "Bob Rooney" is mentioned -1 drink

Al shown playing a sport - 1 drink

The Dodge is shown/heard entering the garage - 1 drink

Another Fox show is mentioned - 1 drink

Fox network is insulted - 1 drink

Another network's show is mentioned - 2 drinks (except for talk shows)

Another network is insulted - 1 drink

Any character is electrocuted - 1 drink

A song is played (either on radio, or otherwise) - 1 drink and sing along ("Go with him...")

Any actor from an old sitcom appears - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they were a child actor

Any other celebrity does a guest cameo (not counting Tim Conway)- 1 drink for each guest star
- 2 drinks if it's a former sports star

Officer Dan arrests Al - 1 drink

Seven dies - finish rest of bottle, go to the liquor store, buy more, party like it's 1999!

NOTE: The next one is not for the faint-hearted:
The word "shoe" is said - 1 drink

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1) The "Married... With Children" Drinking Game was created by Anil (Bob)Kapur

2) This game is not authorized, endorsed, or otherwise acknowledged by the creators of "Married... With Children" or the Fox Television Network

3) This game is intended for entertainment purposes only. So please, no wagering. (Apologies to David Letterman)

4) Insert your favourite warning about the dangers of alcohol abuse here

5) Special thanks to the following people for their assistance, comments, and suggestions

  • Thomas Lee
  • Tom Breton
  • Jose Leon
  • Brett (Merv) Martin

    6) This page was "lifted" from The Jiggly Room - A "Married With... Children" Fanpage