Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: WHAT MEN MEAN WHEN THEY SAY...

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WHAT MEN MEAN WHEN THEY SAY...

"WE'VE BEEN DATING."
Means: "Sally and I have spent a least five evenings together, at least one of them has ended in sexual contact. Meanwhile, I've also been dating Cindy, Louise and Carol."

"SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND."
Means: "Sally has made me breakfast at her place many times. I have painted her living room and regularly change the oil in her car. We do not date other people. She is off-limits to my buddies, now and forever."

"WE CUDDLED."
Means: "Sally and I got into bed. We kissed some. She even aside of me. But nothing else. [Sigh]."

"LET'S JUST SPEND A QUIET EVENING AT HOME."
Does NOT mean: "Let's snuggle on the couch and listen to music and maybe sip some brandy. At some point, you will light candles and I will kiss you softly. We will make love tenderly, and I will tell you how much I adore you."
Probably DOES mean: "I think I'll boot up my computer and finally figure out Myst. Or you can make popcorn and we'll watch that really gory ER rerun."

"SHE'S CUTE."
Means: "She has nice watermelons."

"I CLEANED MY APARTMENT."
Means: "It's safe to go to my place because I stacked the papers in the corner and the dishes in the sink. I squeezed in the toilet bowl stuff, even under the rim, and I flushed."

"I'VE ONLY HAD A FEW BEERS."
Means: "I have had more than one, but fewer than 50."

"I LIKE HER."
Means: "I think I'm falling in love but since I a talking to my buddies, I will use another term."

"I'M IN LOVE."
Means one of several things:
1) "Sally has nice watermelons."
2) "I'm quite taken with the unusual way Sally uses her tongue."
3) "Sally actually likes Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

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