McDonnell Douglas warranty info card


McDonnell Douglas warranty info card

McDonnell Douglas warranty info card

This was actually posted--very briefly--on McDonnell Douglas's Web site by an employee working there who (obviously) has a sense of humor. The company's executive management does not--and the Web department was told to take this item off the Web site immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft....)

Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card
within 10 days of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss_Lt. _Gen. _Comrade_Classified _Other

First Name:
Last Name:
Code Name:

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

_F-14 Tomcat
_F-15 Eagle
_F-16 Falcon
_F-117A Stealth

3. Date of purchase (Month/Day/Year)

4. Serial Number:

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as gift/aid package
_Catalog showroom
_Sleazy arms broker
_Mail order
_Discount store
_Government surplus

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store display
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by manufacturer
_Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

_Recommended by salesperson
_McDonnell Douglas reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Backroom politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft carrier
_Middle East
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third World countries

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:

_Color TV
_Killer Satellite
_CD Player
_Air-to-Air Missiles
_Space Shuttle
_Home Computer
_Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)


11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

_Suitcases of cocaine
_Oil revenues
_Deficit spending
_Personal check
_Credit card
_Ransom money
_Traveler's check

12. Your occupation:

_Middle management
_Eccentric billionaire
_Defense Minister/General

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

_Default on loans
_Black market/smuggling
_Watching sports on TV
_Household pets
_Crushing rebellions
_Fashion clothing
_Border disputes
_Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

Military Aerospace Division, P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO, USA