Humour@TheAtomicMoose.ca: Your Jedi Knight Might Be a Redneck If...

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Your Jedi Knight Might Be a Redneck If...

(1) - if he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer
(2) - if he says "these are not the beers you're looking for"
(3) - if that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans and spare ribs
(4) - if the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside
(5) - if he calls his young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
(6) - if he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up
(7) - if the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family
(8) - if he calls Hank Williams Jr."master"
(9) - if his landspeeder has a gun rack
(10)- if he meditiates to old CCR records
(11)- if he calls Yoda his Li'l green buddy.
(12)- if he has ever said, "Anger... fear...aggression...Yankees... the dark side are they."
(13)- if his X-Wing has a still in it
(14)- if his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base
(15)- if there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid
(16)- if his robes have the Golden Flour label on them
(17)- if he trim his beard and finds a Mynock
(18)- if he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill
(19)- if he uses Jawas for a drink holder
(20)- if he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other
(21)- if he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck
(22)- if he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD
(23)- if he thinks the best use of his light saber is picking his teeth
(24)- if he ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because he had to spit.
(25)- if his Jedi robe is Camouflage colored
(26)- if at least one wing of his X-Wing is primer colored
(27)- if he can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
(28)- if he can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
(29)- if he think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
(30)- if he has ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling
(31)- if his father ever said to him, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
(32)- if he's ever had his R-2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light
(33)- if he jump-starts his lightsaber off a car battery
(34)- if he beat the Gamorrean Guard in an "Ugly" contest
(35)- if his father's name is Garth Vader
(36)- if he got his lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids
(37)- if he's ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin at his sister
(38)- if he constantly mistakes R2 units for beer kegs
(39)- if he counts B. O. as a Jedi power
(40)- if he's ever used a light saber to skin a deer

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